Warning, i'm about to get sappy.
Let me level with you.
My parents were 17 and 18 when i was born, so you can only imagine that they were the farthest thing from a happy, committed, ready couple. I often blame myself for the state of living my parents are currently forced under. My father, is an alchoholic who even at 37 still lives in his parents basement. it's where i'm also staying for the time being untill school starts up. He's a really smart man, and he's always secretly wanted to be a rally car driver. However thanks to a DUI he lost his liscence when i was in grade 9 an inevitably had to sell his car. He works in the stock room at a furniture store. Sometimes i hate him for what he does to himself, sometimes i hate him for what he's put me, my grnadparents, and most of all my mother through.
As for my mom, she lives in low income city housing where she cares for my half- brother [Father unknown] as well as my three younger cousins. After some drug related issues, gang related issues, some arson, and inevitably being sent to jail, her legal right to care for her children was revoked. albeit they're much beter off now, however they've been living with my moher for almost 5 years now. They honestly feel more like siblings at thtis point. 9, 7, and 6. the 6yearold, ben has cerebral palsy and is deaf. i dont know if those two correlate but thats what the kid has. poor guy... i couldn't even begin to imagine what's life is like for him. He's lactose intolerant ontop of it. and allergic to mosquitoes. although my brother is allergic to them as well.
Along with caring for them, there;s also my brother's cat; saber (or fatso as we have taken to calling her) and my new kitten, paul. paul would live with me, however my dad and grandmother are allergic to cats.
Theres also the fish... and the leopard gecko.. oh and the hermit crabs!
Nevertheless what this means is she cant have a job due to her time being completely devoted to caring for the kids, and is supporting herself, the kids, and the animals off of government cheques and disability pay.
I dont visit my mother often, even though she;s my favorite person in the world, solely because, as a healthy teenage male, i consume alot, in food and electricity.
I hate having to place a burden like that on the person who gave me life.
After I lived on my own for a while, i tended not to visit, and when i was homeless i never came over once in fear of living here and draining on my mom's funds like that. plus now that my brother is slowly becoming a "man", growing a moustache, going o highschool, girlfriends, 4chan. he has to have a room of his own, no more of his "bunk beds" bull shit.
My place to sleep here when i visited became limited.
Back in the early days of highschool for me, i dated online a lot, and my mom, having free long distance, i would stay here a lot.
there was a couch in the basement i would lie on and talk to cara or chelsea for hours untill i fell asleep down here. its a comfortable place, surrounded by childhood toys passed down from my uncle to me o my broher and now my cousins..
A while back the washing machine broke and flooded the basement, you can only imagine that it ruined the couch.
Which brings me to where i am now.
I visit my mom because i love her, and need a break from being busy uptown all the time.
Also because i miss paul, and need to keep tabs on the little ones.
So now when i'm here, i stay up till all hours of the morning, contemplating my life, talking with a distant version of myself while lying on a mat in the basement, and i do so untill i fall asleep... on my favourite concrete floor.
